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| Hey! I have a new xanga, whoot. Finally, I'm rid of this ugly name.  Here she is: ELLEdubb So I will be posting all my blogs there, no more here. | | |
| I am so excited for school to start. That's funny, last week I was practically behind the TV trying to hide from it! ...
No I really am excited though. I an making a promise to myself. I will not procrastinate, and I will study for tests. I hope. I really want to keep organized this year, it will make things less painful haha. I realized also, that even though doing your homework right when you get home is the worst, waiting and having to do it when you want to sleep, or the day before some huge project is due, is even worse. I am going to have to be really organized and quick with everything if I want it to be a good year. I am going to have so much going on. I cannot believe I am doing this, but I still have time to change my mind if I want to, but wow. I think I am just going to skip club volleyball this year. I mean Ryan and Levi won't be coaching anymore anyway, and I love Renee, just maybe not as a coach? I love her though, she's amazing <3 So this now my mom is more open to voice lessons, and hopefully the SPCA. Since I'm dropping club, maybe I can take hip-hop again too. I mean how weird to be in it for almost 8 years and then just not be. It's weird, and I love hip-hop. So lets see then. Senior VB (if I make it)
Jazz
Voice
SPCA
Work.
HipHop (maybe). I am excited though because I am going to drop German and take Guitar instead :D That way with my voice lessons and eventually mad guitar skills (haha) I can bring my song writing to life! :P Yay. | | |
| So today I painted my new room ... orange! Yes. [= It's not done yet, we still have to go over a second coat tomorrow, and! ..and. One wall will be brown. I know right.. The brown is nice, I'm just not sure how it will look with the orange? Oh well, brown is a pretty neutral color. My room is.. so.. bright. Holy wow. It's awesome, just bright. You know when you have been sleeping for a while in complete darkness and then someone turns on the light (imagine being on the top of a bunk bed when that happens.. ow!) Well that's pretty much my room when you first enter. Especially if you close your eyes before walking in and turning on the light. (Yes, I actually did that.) It's good though, it's good. I mean, if this won't wake me up, I don't know what will. Haha! | | |
| Being happy is more difficult than one might think. I mean, I am in a very good place in my life right now I think, I mean with all my happiness. Hehe. There are some tough spots though. I mean really, all I have done is cut my losses, I have stopped chasing what is not even there. I think I am mostly reffering to the guys here. However there are still some strings I'm not ready to cut yet. I have been so much happier cutting out things that are making me sad. It's just, Okay. So my cousin, the one that lives across the street. Like we have been getting better, I guess. Except I still feel like just, not wanted. Like it feels like the only reason she ever even does hang out with me occassionaly is just because she pities me? I don't know. I feel like the annoying, younger sibling that you never want around. I mean we will never be the same, ever. I just don't feel wanted by her, she makes me feel sad. Even when we are hanging out, I feel cut out. Katherine and Tiffany have all these insiders, and me and Katherine don't have any. Not anymore. It really hurts how she can live with her Tiff, but she can't stand me for more than a week at most. We used to be bestfriends, sisters. Now I just consider her extended family. So I just don't know if I should cut her out of my life, you know? I want to. It's just hard. She does not bring happiness into my life, she brings sadness, and I'm trying to get over that. I'm trying to get over her. Then there's Ryley. He has not been returning any texts everr. AND it's his birthday today. Like it would be easier to cut him off if he wasn't [supposedly] one of my best friends. Ah. My horoscope in my mag said today I am supposed to go to some artsy thing or something or a concert or something like with my crush and show him my artsy side or something along the lines of that. Don't even think so. | | |
| Arg. Singing is something that I do constantly. When I listen to music, which is all the time, I sing. Do you know what angers me though? I can not do it well. I'm not even saying that to be negative, I'm saying it because it's true, and it makes me so ... mad! I always get my hopes up when I'm watching people videos on youtube, and they are singing, and they have a nice voice. I start thinking "I think I could do that with my voice.." uh. NOPE. Not quite. What bothers me the most is that my voice is so dry. Like when I sing, it sounds dry and not very song-worthy. I get so jealous of people that have such clear and crisp singing voices, or soft and silky voices.. *cough* Andrea *cough* .. No lie here, Andrea, you have the best singing voice I know. Not even a lie. Your voice is amazing. I wonder if voice lessons would even make me a better singer. You know there are some people who are just not born with a singing voice, and even lessons will not make them a decent singer. Then there are people who are just naturally good singers. Ahh. =[ Btw, I think I'm going to switch my German class to Guitar 9. Yes, I will be in guitar with a bunch of freshmans. I just won't have time to learn it on my own time. Danielle might join with me, I'm crossing my fingers! | | |
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